Friday, December 12, 2008

CONGRATS are in order


so, remember that guy on our team who spent 3 months of the fall in a neck brace smoking cigarettes and contributing reviews after breaking his neck at Downieville? well, turns out it didn't hurt him much. or perhaps those "nicotine" patches weren't what he said they were. regardless of how he came back from such a horrible accident, they fact is he came back, and came back well. Kirt raced a bunch of Single Speed cross races this year. He made it to 4 of 5 of the BASP series races and did damn well too. So well, that he took home second in the series. Congrats Kirt.

ps- can you get me some of those patches?

Saturday, November 15, 2008

A view from the sidelines

This blog's been a bit silent...but the camel is stoked for cross. More than other disciplines, it requires a full combo of fitness, skill, solid bike setup, luck...and being fired up.  As Skirt has shown, the only one that you can do well without is fitness. Nice work at Livermore!


I spent the entire road/mtb season racing...and waiting for cross. The intensity required beckoned me during long mileage days. Any time I spun out the big ring on my mtb, feeling a high-cadence flow on some stretch of dirt...cross. Hell, I even did some running. And now, after an accident during a recent night trail ride, my season looks shot with only two (marginal) finishes. I've been trying hard to decide whether to aim my PT and training towards late season races, ala Andy Jacques-Maynes'  example...or punt and focus on road season next year.
This last week, a couple of the Altezza guys forwarded me a video from one of Norcal's "Peak Season" races...our only hope at proper muddy cross. I dare you all to watch this, and not get excited. For everybody that has the ability to get to a cross race this weekend, and next, and the one after that: do it. This stuff only comes around once a year. I'm stoked, and I can't even walk right now :)


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Camel with Mark Blackwelder (Tron), winner of single speed and 4th place in A's. Killing it.
"Sexual Camel? That's what my wife is!"
-Cross Crusade, Astoria, OR

Friday, October 24, 2008

Ride Out the Depression with a Road Trip?

Tell me this isn't a good idea. Two grand for a 21 passenger diesel bus. All of a sudden the economy tanks and I have my days free. I'm thinking buy the bus, gut it and put a veggie oil filtration system in it, a bed, kitchen, bike rack et cetera and race bikes, blog, podcast, temp work and race bikes. But where the F do I park something that big?

Monday, October 13, 2008

Cross season begins


Well, the 2008 'cross season kicked off for me at CCCX's course on Sunday in the infield at Laguna Seca. For those that know the area, we climbed up the pedestrian path next to the corkscrew...which is steep enough to make me really wish I rode a mountain bike. Right after the climb, they added an awkward, off camber turning approach to a barrier. I think the best way to train for this sort of feature would be to have someone give me a swift kick in the junk right before attempting a smooth dismount. Focus. 

So...race report. We A folks lined up with a couple ringers in addition to the rock lobster and cal giant boys....Ben Jacques Mayne, and some old guy named Ned in Specialized kit. As far as I know, those guys up front were on motorcycles, because I lost sight of them before the first hill. I managed to settle into a rhythym, holding onto top 15  on the first lap. I didn't have any major errors except for some poor dismounts on aforementioned barrier at the top of the hill...and lung mucous that I got all over my shiny new Altezza kit. Thanks to Kirt's skills clinic, I almost had the higher-speed barrier dialed...I was one step off on this one, but still moved through it decently. I'm turning the bike since there's a 180 degree left directly after the barrier :-)


Halfway through the race, I got gobbled up on a flat, fast section by a small group that was trading pulls against the wind, and couldn't quite hold a wheel. Kirt, I tried. I tried.

I finished in 17th, which I'm muy happy with for my first A race. Given the sonofabitch climb in this one, I don't know how I feel about back-to-back weekends with McLaren, but it sounds like they've cut out some of the mtb-like brutality from last year.

Good to see everybody out there, and get this season kicked off! 


Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Nobody likes a quitter

The neck brace is off so now I have to give up the smoking that I love so much... again. If you've never smoked, don't start. What they don't tell you in Health Ed class is that you're gonna love it.

I hate quitting.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Round 8 - The Final


The last ever Track Fights of 2008 was a blast. We had to have an impromptu number pinning clinic on the B race start line since mountain bikers don't know how to pin numbers on anything but their handlebars. Wrong Way brought their boys and owned the B field. Of course, they won the Team Comp. After beating on the B field for the fourth straight week Braulio thought he'd also race the A race. Props for sacking up after burning most of his matches in the B race, but it didn't last long. A's are F---ing hard.

In the A's Matt and Kimmel ripped the field apart before halfway and stuck their break to the finish. The chase group was confused since lapped riders we constantly between them and the leaders gobbling up points. They sprinted like mad not knowing that they were only sprinting for the glory. In the end the Team Comp in the A's was a tight race and surprizingly the Sex Camels had to give themselves prizes for winning. Kind of a shocker since almost all of 'em got lapped in the first Track Fights eight weeks ago.

Results are up. Photos are up.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

You don't guess?

Oh, the sex life of a camel,
Is stranger than anyone thinks,
For in an amorous moment,
He tried to make love to the sphinx,
But the sphinx's posterior oriphous,
Is clogged by the sands of the Nile,
Which accounts for the hump on the camel,
And the sphinx's inscrutable smile.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Round 7 was unusual

A40 made up half the field. Each lap the peloton was multi-colored as it came towards us and a sea of A40 green as it rolled away. We had a new girl show up and she beat one of my teammates and tied another. Butterfly, Snowflake and Dbag broke away with seven to go or something. Dbag shelled himself going for a sprint. Everyone roared when he answered his hecklers with "Just wait" as he rolled by with five to go. Apparently we're still waiting. Isaias had perfect position behind Nole for the entire last lap and still got owned and even recieved a Lance-Armstrong-look-back as Snowflake walked away with the final sprint.

Results are up.

This Wednesday is the last Track Fights and is also a Team Comp. Bring your boys. Actually with how well the women have faired out here you might be better off leaving the boys on the couch and bringing your women. Oh, and we also have a shit-ton of primes and beer we need to get rid of.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Track Fights #7 - Pixorz

Well, after 7 weeks, we finally managed to snap a few pictures. Here's one from the start of the A race - check out the sea of Altezza 40 green!


The rest of the pics are here.



Monday, September 22, 2008

Track Fights Team Competition - Oct 1st

We are adding a team overall competition for the final. Get your strategy together and bring your teammates. We will be following a scoring system similar to that used in collegiate racing.

Update: the previous system was too complex so I'm revising it. Team points go ten deep based on placing in the final results and the top three riders from each team count towards the team total. Done.

Points Schedule:
Place | Team Points
  1. 15
  2. 12
  3. 10
  4. 8
  5. 6
  6. 5
  7. 4
  8. 3
  9. 2
  10. 1

Damn this is gonna be fun!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Friday, September 19, 2008

Where's Ryan?



Ireland, Belgium, and France have been very kind to Brenna and I these last three weeks. Great beer, great wine, great cheese... and after three weeks of non-cycling, you guys had better watch out for my new, svelt figure!
Track Fights #7: Battle of the Bulge!

Rrrr, 'tis that day again



Come t' th' Track Fights or I`ll make ye keel haul th' plank!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

American Spirit, Perique

If ever there was a pack of smokes that said "You're gonna die." this is that pack. Black box with red highlights. They are actually pretty good. Nice woody flavor that doesn't build up too fast when I'm smoking a lot of them. I'd say they are better than all the other American Spirits I've tried. That woody flavor comes from the oak whiskey barrels that the leaves are aged in. There's a great video on Perique tobacco here.


This is my last review. I'm switching to rollies to get ready for cross.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Round 4

Results are up. Nothing funny this time. Sorry. Nick won again. Masterbates raced with his blood clot. None of my teammates got lapped for the first time. (Hey, we're holding Track Fights for a reason.) Karla continued her beat down on the men. Marissa appears to want in on that action too. We had a bunch of ties and we were actually able to break some of them with their finish in the final sprint. Also, the best turnout yet. 26 total, 7 in the Bs, 19 in the As.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Round 3

Round 3 was better than ever. We had a new guy sandbagging in the B’s again. He’ll move up next week. Four people total in the B’s. 15 in the A’s. Same turnout as last week. Julie almost won the B’s but ended up coming in last. Kind of hard to explain how that worked. A’s stayed together as a group. Ben got spanked by a girl. Lander tried to break away all of a half mile into the race. We were all like “Oh, he's new” No one crashed. Someone that saw the race when he was down at his boat last week came out to race A’s this week and kicked ass. Tim took the PBR prime to become our top prime winner of the night. Anthony walked away with the first sprint and then promptly dropped out to heckle the riders with the megaphone. Marissa moved up to As this week and gave Ryan a beat down. Dave showed up just in time to be our lap card girl. Thanks Dave! Katie made some amazing lasagna for everyone after the race. The only guy to have a beer before the race also won it. Proof that beer is good for you. And once again, everyone loved it.

Results are posted.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Atlas Shrugged (1957), Ayn Rand

"I Like cigarettes, Miss Taggart. I like to think of the fire held in a man's hand. Fire, a dangerous force, tamed at his finger tips. I often wonder about the hours when a man sits alone, watching the smoke of a cigarette, thinking. I wonder what great things have come from such hours. When a man thinks, there is a spot of fire alive in his mind-and it is proper that he should have the burning point of a cigarette as his one expression."

Thanks Lander

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Track Fights Strategy

This is a very basic run down on only some of the strategy that you may use in an average Track Fights. There is so much more that I could fill a book so take the time to pick the brain of the oldest, savviest riders you know if you want more.

Points:
You tend to win points in one of two ways. Either you win sprints outright or you break away for a couple laps. Maybe even lap the field. Attacks that stick almost always occur immediately following a sprint. Usually it's the two or three guys that won the sprint happen to end up with a gap on the field and they quickly get it together and punch it. When you are in a breakaway you are winning points for every sprint that you are out until the field gobbles you back up or until you gain shelter behind the back of the field. If you gain shelter behind the field just before a bell lap then that whole field can now sprint for points even though you've only been hanging on the back.

Sprints:
If you want to win a sprint you'll need to be one of the top three or four riders coming out of the last corner and you'll need to crack open a decent sprint to boot, assuming you have one to crack open in the first place. If you can't figure out the wheel to be on or you find yourself with bad position before the last corner like say, the front of the field, then as the saying goes, When in doubt, lead it out. You won't win by leading out a sprint but if you can keep sprinting to the line without leaving char marks on the road from your explosion you're almost guaranteed a good place and you'll be with the leaders if that sprint turns out to be one that forms a breakaway.

Getting Dropped:
First of all, don't get dropped. Burn whatever matches you have to to stay with the field. If you're getting gapped then figure out why your getting gapped and put a bandaid over it. If you're getting gapped after all the sprints then start leading them out or fight for top position going into them so you have more field to drift back through. Keep your line and sprint hard so you don't cause a crash.

However sooner or later you may find yourself staring across a gap the size of the Grand Canyon. Figure out what you did that squirted you out the back like you drank the water in Mexico and don't do it again. Most likely it was thinking you could sit back for a sprint or sucking the wheel of someone that popped. Toss any idea you may have about pacing yourself out the window cuz you're in for some hurt. If you have any matches left, light em. Once you hit the back of the field, don't wait around punching tickets, keep going right to the front. You're gonna need some slack when the next sprint comes around and also by being at the front you may be able to secretly slow the field down a little to give yourself a chance to recover.

If you know you're never going to make it back up to the field. Just sit up and soft pedal. You're not learning anything by time trialing behind the field and you're not getting a single point back there. Drop back to the field and try to get some points to start digging yourself out of that hole. Lots of people are going to get dropped and you're now racing against them.

For example, take two riders that both get dropped early in the race. Neither are strong enough to make it back on. One sits up, takes a breather, and drops back to the field. Once he is in the field again he manages to squeak out fourth in one sprint. The other rider keeps pushing in no man's land for most of the race before getting lapped and never gets a single point. At the end of the race both are one lap down but the rider that dropped back and got the single point beat the other and got a better workout and tactical experience. The one that dropped back will do better next week. The one that dangled for twenty laps got better at time trialing.

There is one caveat to this. If you get dropped near the end of the race then fight like hell to stay on the lead lap. Staying on the lead lap will probably keep you in the top half or two thirds of the results list.

The take away from this is if you get dropped and can catch back up then absolutely do it and do it fast. If you can't then drop back and start racing again. When you're in the pack learn how to stay in the pack and if you're surrounded be people that can sprint faster than you learn how to win points in spite of them.

Good Luck!

P.S. Results from Round 2 are up.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

DING DING DING


Round 2. Put the vaseline on your brow, tighten your belt, and get ready to pound the pedals. Tonight, and every Wednesday night till October. We'll have post race libations for all the revelers and participants.

spreading the word

































from one of the best cycling blogs out there- for its general entertainment value and superb writing- cause you won't find that here.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Sonoma, Filtered

They're crap. Smoked three and tossed the pack. To be fair, this was the first pack after the Winstons so I'm spoiled.

Winston, Filtered

These have got to be laced with crack. I said I would chain smoke some other brands but I actually do chain smoke Winstons. To the bar, outside the bar, from bar to bar, walking home from the bar. If I weren't worried that I may never be able to stop smoking these fantastic cigarettes I would have new brand.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Results are in.

Mr. Job did up a little post on his first Track Fights. Results from Round 1 are here.

USA Gold, Filtered

I started taking cigarette recommendations from the homeless. I struck up a conversation about cigarettes with a guy that was trying to hawk a Starbucks gift card and got the line on all the best cheap butts. At least that what he says. He told me USA Gold was the best cheap cigarette and I have to say, he's wrong. These are a heavy smoke. At least you know you're smoking with 'em. Maverick is still the best cheap cigarette.

Update: these have joined the elite group of smokes that I threw out before finishing the pack. My mouth still feels coated with yuckiness.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Benson & Hedges, Light, Filtered

Reviewing all theses joyless cigarettes almost makes me want to quit smoking. I had to switch back to Camels for a few packs just to remember how much I enjoy smoking. First of all I can't stand 100's. I feel like a thirteen year old that stole the pack from his aunt. And they're bland and offer almost no buzz. Do these even have nicotine? On top of that a third of the cigarette is filter. The only good thing about them is they're smooth, which in cigarette speak means they're not awful. So they don't have anything good about them and they don't have anything bad about them. Kind of like peeing on your leg in the shower.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Track Fights Rules

This is a training race. No sketchy stuff. If you find yourself looking at a tight hole wondering whether you can dive through it or not the answer is you can’t. Among other things we are here to learn how to win sprints WITHOUT ENDANGERING OTHER RIDERS.

You must keep you number for the entire series. You must also sign a waiver and pay an entry fee for each night in the series.

Points Race Rules:
  • Points Sprints are signaled by the bell and take place every three laps.
  • Final place is determined in the following order:
  1. Laps Down
  2. Total Points
  3. Placing in Final Sprint
  • Points go four deep and are awarded as such: 4, 3, 2, 1 for 1st through 4th respectively.
  • The middle and final points sprints count double and are awarded based on the following schedule: 8, 6, 4, 2 for 1st through 4th respectively.
  • Riders are not pulled, only lapped.
  • The leaders of a lap are always awarded the points regardless of how many laps down they may be overall.
  • All riders finish on the lead lap regardless of how many laps down they may be.
  • In the event of a breakaway, the break will sprint for points and the field is left to sprint for any remaining points if the break is less than four riders.
  • A breakaway will continue to accumulate points until it makes contact with the back of the field or until the field reels them back in.
  • Once a break makes contact with the field everyone in the field may sprint for points again on equal footing.
  • A rider may not intentionally drop off the back of the field to assist a teammate in a break. In the event that this happens the rider must drop all the way back to the field again or be disqualified and pulled.

Primes:
  • Primes are announced by the megaphone. No bell.
  • Primes are just prizes and count for nothing.
  • If a break stays away for a significant number of laps the race official may decide to issue "Field Primes" as he/she sees fit.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Pall Mall, Light, Filtered

Pall Mall smells like you found the pack under an inch of dust in your grandparents attic. The cigarette looks great with a huge Pall Mall label in grey above the filter. They have a slow burn which is great for my long walk home. They're a little hard on the lungs especially for such dull flavor. Bottom line, the cigarette looks great burns slow and has a dull yet unique flavor.

Delivery....


Kimmel already called dibs on #69, sorry folks.

The word is out!

We got some publicity in NorCal Cycling News. Pretty boy Michael Hernandez was gracious enough to give us some room on the site, and in doing so, questioned our sexual compass. You don't question a Camel's sexuality and get away with it. But thanks for the publicity all the same.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Sports Basement mans up

Sponsorship support isn't a given you know? You have to go out and find it, or, in the case of Sports Basement, it finds you. We just received word from John at the Bryant Street store that Sports Basement will be throwing down $120 in gift certificates every night for primes. That means 12 racers, or a couple really fast ones, will at least cover their entry fee every night. Thank you Sports Basement!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Let's get ready to RRRUMMMBBBLE!





Wednesday Night Track Fights are ON!!
Come one, come all.

With some solid work from our handicapped, chain-smoking superstar, we've secured all the necessary approvals, licenses, and insurance and we will be holding an eight (8) week points race series in preparation for cyclocross season. Races will be Wednesday nights. We're still putting together primes and final logistics. This is going to be an intense series and its training value will be immeasurable. Check out the flyer and if you have any questions, speak up.

Nat Sherman Naturals, Light, Filtered

"Buffy, Could you pass the caviar? Thank you dear." Heavy on the lungs with that Nat Sherman detergent flavor. If you work out at all this is not a good choice. Very smooth and long burning but clogs your lungs up fast. Buy them if you live in the Marina.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Maverick, Filtered

Yesterday I walked down to the corner store under my apartment building to buy some smokes. I only had four dollars in my wallet so I asked the cashier if he had anything for four bucks. I figured I would be SOL because that store is insanely overpriced. He tosses this pack of Mavericks on the counter and says "three." geezus these are going to be bad.

However, they're pretty good. Not too harsh, decent burn, I might even call them smooth. Not much flavor though and they burn evere so slightly faster than I would like. Bottom line, if you're broke, buy these.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

From the homeland


Not much I would pour from a can into a pint glass, but this makes the cut. Straight from Lyons, Colorado.

Parliment, Light, Filtered

The cigarette with the recessed filter. Not sure what that does for you but it's neat and stiff, if you like something stiff in your mouth. They're also a very mild pleasant smoke without a unique flavor, slightly woody and very clean. I feel like I could chain smoke these.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

GPC, Light, Filtered

These were so bad I smoked half of one cigarette and threw the pack out. Screw it. I'll go without smoking today rather than smoke these putrid butts.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Chesterfield, Menthol, Filtered

Chesterfield Menthols have a classic look, bright green "Chesterfield" above the filter. They have clean taste with light menthol flavor. However its has an amazingly quick burn even for a menthol. It feels like I light up, take a couple drags, walk a few steps, raise the cigarette to my mouth again and there's only one drag left! They're also every so slightly harsh on the throat but easier than most menthols. Bottom line, it's a great tasting light menthol cigarette if you like quick smoke breaks.